Ridiculousness 3
by FireStar104
Summary: Part 3 is here! Hopefully funnier and readable! I don't really know, that's why I want you to be the judge. Dr.C/Link/Bob/Susan/Rusty the dog. New chapter!
1. Beached Whale

Beached Whale

_Rusty: A puppy German Shepherd._

(Link was in his room washing Rusty's toys in a sink installed for him, but he can easily push it back into the wall when he was done. Rusty was chilling on Link's bed, his tail swishes left to right. Link sighs then turns off the water.)

Link: (Quickly) Rusty we need to talk.

(Rusty turns his head to Link, his ears perk up and his tale stops moving.)

Link: (Frustrated.) Don't look at me lake that. Don't look at me like you didn't know I've been in here doing thing.

(Rusty gives no emotion.)

Link: (Raises pitch slightly) Oh what you shocked? You shocked that I'm finally standing up for what's right? The fact that I'm here cleaning your toys and you're sitting on my bed doing nothing. (Goes back to normal pitch.) You're a spoiled rat.

(Rusty yawns.)

Link: (Angry) When you wake up who puts the food in tour bowl? Who washes the bowl that I put your food in? Who gives you water? What if I just took all that stuff away? How do you think your ancestors survived? Huh? In the prehistoric days, how do you think the dogs made it? They went out, in the woods, found something, killed it then ate it. You know what I do? I go to PetCity. I buy you a bag of dog food. I put it in your bowl, and you sit there and lie down and eat it like a _beached whale_. (Rusty stares at him.) You're a disgrace to the canine humanity, you know that?

(Link sighs and continues washing dishes.)

Link: (Looks up) Oh what? So you drag down the blanket to the floor and hide under it? And the problem just goes away. Is that what you think? You hide under the blanket and the problem just goes away.

(Rusty rolls playfully under the blanket growling softly.)

Link: (Irritated goes back to washing.) Right, perfect. Of course it is.

Course it is. Everything's fine. Problem's, problem's solved. You think everything's good.

(Link sighs heavily while Rusty continues playing under the blanket. He scrubs a rubber bone faster. He rinses it then flung it towards Rusty. It bounced off the bed then hit the wall to the floor making Rusty run out barking.)

_A/n: Hope you enjoyed._

_P.S: No animals were harmed in the making of this story._


	2. Rule 34 On Accident

Rule 34

_A/n: Sexual theme warning._

"Hey guys, can I show you something?" Bob asked coming in with a laptop in his hands.

Dr. C and Link were at the table chatting.

"Sure Bob, what's up?" Link said turning to him.

"Um…I was on my game website playing a game, and um… I saw an ad and it said Monsters vs. Aliens rule 34. And um…is this normal?" Bob opened to laptop and showed it to his friends.

Dr. C and Link's jaw dropped and stared wide eyed at Bob's laptop.

Dr. C got up first and snatched the laptop out of his hands, "Bob, what are you doing with this?" he yelled.

"I-I don't know, I just…What were you doing to Susan Doc?" Bob asked silently.

"Oh my God, Bob! Don't ever click on an ad again!" Dr. C said trying to get out of the xxx website.

"Let me see," Link said coming up to the laptop.

"You already saw Link why would you want to see it again?" Dr. C said taking it away from view.

"I don't know, maybe I can get out without Monger ever knowing we got on that," Link said taking the laptop away, "Oh hey, would you look at that.." he said silently.

"Link get off of that!"

"Okay, okay, give me a sec!"

"Link, why where you putting a green snake up Susan's-" Bob started to say.

"BOB! Why don't you go and make waffles, alright?" Dr. C faking a laugh taking Bob to the kitchen.

"But I wanna know why-"

"NO YOU DON'T!" Dr. C snapped.

"But why were you and Link in the same bed sticking-"

"GO MAKE WAFFLES BOB!"

Bob went into the kitchen; Dr. C went back to Link.

"Did you get out?" he asked.

"No, I can't! It's taking me deeper and deeper!" Link said trying desperately at pushing the keyboard.

"Let me see," Dr. C said taking the laptop.

They jump when Susan came into the room, "Hey guys," she greeted, "Oh hey is that Bob's new laptop?"

"NO," Link and Dr. C yelled out loud. Dr. C closed the laptop; not even shutting it down-and putting it behind his back. He smiled nervously with Link. Then there was a moan from the laptop.

"_Shit!_" they both thought.

"What was that?" Susan asked puzzled.

"Uh…NOTHING! Nothing at all, it's probably Rusty playing with Insecto," Dr. C said trying not to panic.

Another moan was heard from the laptop.

"Um…Well anyway, can I check out the computer?" Susan asked cheerfully.

"NO!" Link and Dr. C said equally.

"Why don't you want me to see the laptop? You'll get it back," Susan said laughing.

"It's just that Bob doesn't like people using his stuff," Link said thinking quickly with Dr. C nodding with him.

"Aw come on, he won't mind," she said bending down, "Now come on, give it up." She held out her hand towards Dr. C. He backed away shaking his head.

"Doc, really, I want to see," she said giggling about to grab him.

Link ran and took the computer from Dr. C, "Ah-ha-ha. Bob would really be angry if he sees anyone with his laptop. I'll just go and put it up for him," Link started towards Bob's room.

"Link," Susan chuckled. She blocked his way with one hand, "Let me see it," she said.

Link looked to the side of him and threw the laptop to Dr. C who caught it, "Heheh, very light," he said.

"Guys, I'm not in the mood for playing," she said trying to sound tough but couldn't help laughing a bit.

Dr. C gripped the laptop like a hug, "Bob, would really be upset with us. Besides, this is his laptop. What's his is his," he laughed.

"Oh hey Susan! Hey guess what I found in the internet?" Bob said coming in.

"BOB! Nu-uh!" Link signaled him, cutting his throat with his hand.

"What?" Susan asked.

"I found-" Bob began.

"BOB! Did you finish making waffles?" Link asked interrupting him.

"No, but…"

"THEN GO MAKE WAFFLES!" he pointed towards the kitchen.

"Ugh! Fine," Bob slid to the kitchen again.

"Is there something you don't want me to see on his computer?" Susan asked with suspicions in her tone.

"What? Nah," Link waved her away.

"Then let me see it," she said turning to Dr. C.

He shakes his head again, "It's just something personal," he lied.

"Don't worry I won't tell anybody," she grabbed the end of the laptop and tried to take it.

Dr. C held onto the other end and tried to pull back, "I would really think it's best to keep it a secret," his apprehension started to kick in and it showed in his tone.

"Please?" she begged.

He shakes his head once more, "Nu-uh!"

"Fine, I guess I'll have to take it from you," she smiled a bit.

She started to tug, pulling Dr. C with it.

"Doc!" she giggled again.

He pulls back violently, but ran out of breath after 3 seconds of pulling.

"You are so weak Doc," she joked.

She pulls the laptop, with Dr. C still holding on. He tried to pull back, but it was useless. He rises into the air until they saw each other.

He chuckled nervously dangling about 25 feet in the air. She giggled and took his small body and pulled till he broke free from the laptop.

"Susan, please. There's no use of looking in there, really!" he pleaded in her fist.

"Come on Doc, I bet it's not that bad," she said carelessly.

She began to open the laptop but then Link ran shouting, "Nooooooo!" he crawled up her and snatched the laptop up and landed on the floor standing.

He raised the laptop up and broke it in half on his knee.

Dr. C and Susan stare at him appalled at what just happened. Link was panting when Bob came in with a plate full of waffles. Bob came to the side of him.

Link looked at the plate tired and lightened up, "Oh hey waffles!" he takes a waffle and bites making Bob grin.

"Wow you really don't want me to see what's in that laptop," Susan said to Dr. C.

He shakes his head, "Nope," he smiled.

_A/n: Well that's it!_


	3. Bob wants to Play

Bob's Playtime

_Rusty: A puppy German shepherd. Talks with a red collar and a light in the middle that light up with every word he says in his mind. Black and brown with perky ears._

"Come on boy," Bob begged Rusty holding his red ball above him.

Rusty, who was curled up in bed, ignored him, "I am too tired to play Master," he said not looking up.

"Aww, come on!" Bob whined.

"I am very sleepy Master," he said again putting his paws on his eyes.

"But… Ugh, fine!" Bob shrugged his shoulders and slid away.

He goes into Link's room and finds Link playing video games on his X-box. Link moved side to side trying to avoid attackers.

"Hey Link, you wanna play ball with me?" Bob asked going up to him.

"Not now Bob," Link replied not looking up at his new screen T.V.

""Please?" Bob pleaded.

"No! You're distracting me Bob."

Bob goes up to the T.V and throws it down shattering to pieces.

"W-T-F MAN?" Link shouted getting up.

"Now can you play ball with me?" he asked innocently holding up his ball.

"NO!" Link pushed Bob out of his room and the door slammed shut.

Bob sighed and goes over to Dr. C's room. He didn't see him but saw his bathroom light was on with the shower running.

Dr. C was humming silently with a soft smile on his face as he scrubbed. He was lost in his thoughts till the curtain opened.

"_Never mind I'll find some like yooou,_ AHHH! BOB, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" Dr. C shouted to him covering himself.

"I was wondering if you could play with me," Bob asked with a smile, he looks down and giggled, "He-he, I can see your weenie."

Bob was pushed out the door by Dr. C, "GET OUT AND STAY OUT!" he yelled out the door.

"But," Bob started but the door slammed shut before he could protest.

He sighs and goes over to Insecto's room. She was sleeping with half of her body inside the room.

"Yo, Insecto! You wanna go play ball like bro's?" Bob shouted waking him up.

Insecto screeches before going into her room and slams her door.

"Geez, what's up with him?" Bob said to himself then thought for a minute, "Ohhhh! Wait Insecto, I- I mean like sisters! I…Ugh, never mind," Bob sighed then goes over to Susan's room.

"Susan?" Bob called out.

Susan was lying on her bed listening to music on her IPod that was apparently a T.V. with a touch screen.

"Susan?" Bob called.

He got her attention and she sat up, "Oh, hey Bob. What's up?" she asked taking off her earphones.

"The guys yelled at me today, so I was wondering if you wanna play ball with me. Please?" he looked up at her with a puppy eye.

"Sure Bob," Susan said gladly getting up.

"Thanks Ginormica!" Bob thanked leaving the door.

Susan stopped in her tracks and gazed at him.

"What?" Bob shrugged.

"My name's NOT GINORMICA!" she yelled slamming her door shut.

Bob sighed once more and goes over to the wall. It's been forever since he never had a playmate.

"Why won't anyone play with me?" he cried and threw the ball against the wall.

The ball bounced back and rolled towards him. He looks down and picks it up. A small hopeful smile appeared on his face. He threw it back and bounced towards him again.

He smiled wide and began to laugh while throwing the ball against the wall.

"This is awesome!" he cheered, then he suddenly gasped, "I think I love you," he whimpered.

He goes over and hugs the wall.

_A/n: That's all._


	4. Rash

**Dr. C's a doctor right? Then he should be able to handle this. ;)**

"Dr. Cockroach, you're a doctor right?" Susan asked coming into the empty main room where only Dr. C stood at the table.

"They don't call me 'Doc' for nothing dearie," Dr. C chuckle turning his attention from his invention to her.

Susan let a small smile tug on her lips, "Well, could you…Um, you know, check something for me?" she nervously said getting on her knees.

"Of course Susan, anything for you," he said putting his hands behind his back and straightening himself.

"Well, I've been trying out this new soap, but," Susan began to fiddle with her buttons on her shirt, "I don't think it's really doing any good to my skin. See?" she opens her shirt exposing herself innocently.

Dr. C's eyes go wide and his muscles tense.

"I have this rash near the nipple area, and I've showered with the soap bar for only a few days. But I can't seem to get it off. I don't know why it's doing this," she said worriedly looking down at herself, "Can you help me Doc? You got any lotion or medications that can make this go away?" she looks back up.

Dr. C stood rigid, "Uh…uh…I…Ahh….Uh…Err…I um…ah…" he stuttered.

His heart quickened and his palms became moist. A pead of sweat rolled down his neck and he swore he could feel something harden between his legs. A small blush appeared on his cheeks as his body began to tremble. He hoped ever so desperately that Susan didn't notice.

"What do you think Doctor?" she said with each movement making him sweat and harden a bit more.

"You…You sh-should j-just try a d-different type of s-soap," he manage to say with a quivering voice, "I-it should go a-away in a c-couple of d-d-d-ah…d-days."

"Oh okay, thanks Doc," she said with a smile and buttoned up her shirt. She stood up and walked back to her room.

Dr. C didn't move after she shut her door, he just stood in place like he was before.

"Well someone got an eye full," Link smirked walking up next to him, "What's wrong Doc? You look like you've seen a ghost," he snickered.

"Link…I can't move…" Dr. C strained not meeting his gaze.

"Ha-ha, looks like someone's thangy's acting like an anchor, HA-HA!" he laughed slapping Dr. C on the back before walking away.

Dr. C stood frozen unable to stop himself by re-thinking on what just happened.

**Just an innocent Dr. C/Susan small story. Please leave a review if you want. :)**


	5. Swag

_A/n: Just a small story I've been meaning to update..._

_Note: The meaning of Swag is cool, sexy or awesome..._

Dr. C and Susan in her regular height were in his lab. They were in front of a control panel full of colorful buttons. But in front of that was a robotic Link standing on his hind legs and a long rectangular shape replaced both eyes.

"Since Link is always so busy doing missions, I figured instead of us having a robotic Link," Dr. C said with crazy in his eyes and a wide grin.

"You're crazy," Susan said with no emotion.

Ignoring her comment, Dr. C grabs the lever from the control panel and pulls it down. He pushes a combination of buttons and hears a winding sound coming from the robot then it stopped.

The robotic Link lifts up his arms and begins to walk, "Crush. Kill. Destroy. Swag," it said in a deep robotic voice.

Dr. C and Susan watch frozen in fear as the robot goes over to the wall still repeating the same words, "Crush. Kill. Destroy. Swag. Crush. Kill…"

It blows a giant hole in the wall using its eyes and his gill on his back turns into a rocket and he flies off.

"…Destroy. Swag. Crush. Kill. Destroy. Swag…" he said until his voice faded.

There were screams of people and lasers being shot out.

"Whoops," Dr. C said as they both gaze at the hole.

Susan turns to face him, "Yeah, nice job Doc," she said folding her arms.

"What?" Dr. C whined, "At least I tried!"

"Yeah…And you failed," she said.

"Well…Let's go get Monger," he said walking out of the room.

_~FireStar104, "I'm one with nature...No really, the mosqitos are biting me! Ahg!"_


	6. Dr C X Link Confusion

**This has sort of a sexual theme here. I figured I could play with the relationship with these two.**

Dr. Cockroach is slammed against the wall face first. He shuts his eyes tight and grits his teeth. Sweat rolled off the side of his head and lands on his bare skin. He screams in pain making Link behind him grip his shoulder for balance.

"Hurry up Link, I can't take it anymore!" Dr. Cockroach yelled at him bringing out another yelp of pain.

"Almost done doctor," Link said back grinding his teeth together.

Dr. Cockroach groans as he hangs his head; Link strained and moaned pulling back while still holding onto his pal. He pulls in after a couple of seconds; both breathing hard.

"Why couldn't you let Susan do this?" Link panted.

"I'm afraid she might hurt me," Dr. Cockroach whimpered.

Link sighed and pulled back then in, then back again; every movement made Dr. Cockroach cry out. Finally, Link pulls back once more making Dr. Cockroach scream in agony. His last scream echoed from his room and throughout the facility.

Dr. Cockroach breathed heavily; resting his head on his arm, the cool wall refreshed the top part of his body though his legs was humid and moist under his pants. Link moved pack puffing out large amounts of air. He holds up half a test tube broken at the top with blood tricking down the clear glass.

"Got it," he breathed.

"Oh thank God," Dr. Cockroach whispered to himself.

Link sets the tube down on a table and grabs a rag. He goes over to Dr. Cockroach and begins to clean a bloody wound on his back.

"Next time, be careful on where you do your experiments," Link said, "You could never know where it'll _explode."_

"I know Link, I know!" Dr. Cockroach said irritated looking over his shoulder, then leans his head on his arm again, "I just never knew a test tube could penetrate me that easily."

"You know what we just sounded like?" he said with a smirk.

"What?"

"Sounded like we were having some fun time-"

"Oh God Link, that's disgusting!" he exclaimed while Link burst out laughing, "You need to clean out that mind of yours because that's just…" he sighed at his friend's immaturity.

"Ha-ha!"

**Gross huh? Oh well…If you don't like it I don't really care…But thanks for readin' though.**


End file.
